Mediterranean Living

2012-02-12T18:44:00.001+01:00

Hitman To Kill The Pope? - http://www.theyreal.com/pope-die-year/

2012-02-12T08:29:00.001+01:00

Ecuador Air Force Admits UFOs Are Real! - http://www.theyreal.com/ecuador-declassifies-ufo-contacts/

2012-02-10T22:03:00.001+01:00

Ecuador Confirms UFO Contacts - http://www.theyreal.com/?p=1924&preview=true

2012-02-10T20:47:00.001+01:00

Ecuador Air Force Admits To UFO Contacts. http://www.theyreal.com/ecuador-declassifies-ufo-contacts/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2012-02-09T20:13:00.001+01:00

Antarctic Alien Structure – Russian Search Team Missing! - http://www.theyreal.com/antarctic-alien-structure-russian-search-team-missing/

2012-02-08T07:34:00.001+01:00

Antarctic Alien Structure – Russian Search Team Missing! - http://www.theyreal.com/antarctic-alien-structure-russian-search-team-missing/

2012-02-07T21:24:00.001+01:00

Antarctic Alien Structure – Russian Search Team Missing! http://www.theyreal.com/antarctic-alien-structure-russian-search-team-missing/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2012-02-07T21:15:00.001+01:00

Have Aliens Za-ped Russian Scientists? - http://www.theyreal.com/antarctic-alien-structure-russian-search-team-missing/

2012-02-07T07:53:00.001+01:00

NASA Whistleblower: Alien Moon Cities on The Moon! - http://www.theyreal.com/nnasa-hides-aliens-coverup/

2012-02-05T10:53:00.001+01:00

The Evidence Has Been Out There For Thousands Of Earth Years!: http://www.theyreal.com/ufos-real/

2012-02-04T19:04:00.001+01:00

Astronauts, the military and Presidents all agree, UFOs are real! - http://www.theyreal.com/ufos-real/

2012-01-31T22:23:00.001+01:00

UFOs Are Real http://www.theyreal.com/ufos-real/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2012-01-30T21:27:00.001+01:00

UFO Disclosure – Here and Now! http://www.theyreal.com/ufo-disclosure/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2012-01-17T13:47:00.003+01:00

Was Judas A Traitor? Part 2 http://www.theyreal.com/judas-traitor-part-2/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2012-01-17T13:47:00.001+01:00

Was Judas A Traitor? Part 1 http://www.theyreal.com/judas-traitor-part-1/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2012-01-13T19:06:00.001+01:00

Latest Mediterranean Living online now: http://www.med-living.com

2012-01-11T19:37:00.001+01:00

UFOs Shot Down Over Brazil http://www.theyreal.com/ufos-shot-brazil/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-12-24T12:47:00.001+01:00

merkel-and-french-poodle-sarkozy http://www.theyreal.com/merkel-and-french-poodle-sarkozy/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-12-18T18:47:00.001+01:00

Democracy – WTF? http://www.theyreal.com/democracy-wtf/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-12-18T18:40:00.001+01:00

Democracy – WTF? New Euro Dictators: http://www.theyreal.com/democracy-wtf/

2011-12-12T09:08:00.001+01:00

Aliens Under The Antarctic? 12,000 Year Old Structure Found Deep Under Ice - http://www.theyreal.com/12000-year-structure-antarctica/

2011-12-10T14:08:00.001+01:00

Structure Under Antarctica-12,000 Years Old Aliens or Last Nazi Base? - http://www.theyreal.com/12000-year-structure-antarctica/

2011-12-07T20:50:00.001+01:00

Are Aliens In Contact With ETs Already Here? - http://www.theyreal.com/wow-aliens-contacting-earth/

2011-12-05T08:49:00.001+01:00

Alien ‘Wow’ Signal – Were They Talking To Aliens Already Here? - http://www.theyreal.com/wow-aliens-contacting-earth/

2011-12-04T08:04:00.001+01:00

Aliens Are Here: Part 1 - http://www.theyreal.com/wow-aliens-contacting-earth/

2011-12-03T12:33:00.001+01:00

Wow – Aliens Are Contacting Earth http://www.theyreal.com/wow-aliens-contacting-earth/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-11-30T13:58:00.001+01:00

The UK loses, the workers lose, the only winners are the unions. - http://www.theyreal.com/side-union/

2011-11-28T14:28:00.001+01:00

UK Strikers - Being Led Like Lambs To Their Slaughter - http://www.theyreal.com/side-union/

2011-11-27T20:41:00.001+01:00

Whose Side Are The UK Unions On? Only The Union Leaders Earn! - http://www.theyreal.com/side-union/

2011-11-27T20:17:00.001+01:00

Whose Side Are The UK Unions On? http://www.theyreal.com/side-union/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-11-22T20:08:00.001+01:00

Rape victim, 16, Given 101 Lashes For Becoming Pregnant http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/http/theyrealcom/WordPress/feed/~3/-1d2DRwjs4w/

2011-11-22T20:07:00.003+01:00

Who Pulled Jeremy Clarkson? http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/http/theyrealcom/WordPress/feed/~3/m3eKsQbjb24/

2011-11-22T20:07:00.001+01:00

Dr Kelly – Were 46 Microbiologists Murdered? http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/http/theyrealcom/WordPress/feed/~3/U357jpz5vZU/

2011-11-21T18:23:00.001+01:00

12,000 Year Old Structure Under Antarctica? 1946 Why Did Admiral Byrd Invade Antarctica: http://www.theyreal.com/12000-year-structure-antarctica/

2011-11-20T13:27:00.001+01:00

12,000 Year Old Structure Under Antarctica? http://www.theyreal.com/12000-year-structure-antarctica/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-11-17T21:07:00.001+01:00

Get Out Of This One Mandelson – And He will! http://www.theyreal.com/mandelson/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-11-17T18:23:00.001+01:00

After The Arab Spring-A New Age Of Dictators Hits The West! - http://www.theyreal.com/age-dictators-hits-west/

2011-11-16T11:31:00.001+01:00

As The Middle East Cleans Up The Power mad-Now Dictators Hit The West! - http://www.theyreal.com/age-dictators-hits-west/

2011-11-16T09:22:00.001+01:00

A New Age Of Dictators Hits The West! http://www.theyreal.com/age-dictators-hits-west/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-11-12T13:02:00.001+01:00

Guided By The Gods - They Taught Us All We Know: http://www.theyreal.com/god-alien/

2011-11-10T23:03:00.001+01:00

Was God An Alien? We Haven’t Got This Far This Alone! http://www.theyreal.com/god-alien/

2011-11-09T11:35:00.001+01:00

Was God An Alien?-We Haven’t Got This Far This Alone!: http://www.theyreal.com/god-alien/

2011-11-09T09:57:00.001+01:00

Was God An Alien? http://www.theyreal.com/god-alien/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-11-06T20:08:00.001+01:00

Prepare for strike against Iran to cover problems in America and Europe - The New World Order: http://www.theyreal.com/world-order-conspiracy/

2011-11-03T17:25:00.001+01:00

Star Wars , Which Way Are The Weapons Pointing, At Us Or The Stars?: http://www.theyreal.com/?p=943

2011-10-31T10:02:00.001+01:00

New World Order Conspiracy-Time To Fight Back Is Now! - http://www.theyreal.com/world-order-conspiracy/

2011-10-29T10:42:00.001+02:00

Time Is Running Out - Fight Back Now! - http://www.theyreal.com/world-order-conspiracy/

2011-10-28T11:27:00.001+02:00

The New World Order Conspiracy http://www.theyreal.com/world-order-conspiracy/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-10-26T23:08:00.001+02:00

Zero Point Energy Field-The Force Behind The Universe: http://www.theyreal.com/point-field-power-source-universe/

2011-10-25T18:55:00.001+02:00

Who Are Playing Monopoly with the World's Money? - Mediterranean Living Magazine - Online At: www.med-living.com

2011-10-24T12:03:00.001+02:00

Latest edition of Mediterranean Living Online Now:
www.med-living.com

2011-10-21T13:22:00.001+02:00

Free Energy – Zero Point Field - DNA Is The Road Map Of Life - Is This The Map For Everything else?
http://www.theyreal.com/point-field-power-source-universe/

2011-10-21T13:17:00.001+02:00

Free Energy – Zero Point Field – The Power Source Of The Universe? http://www.theyreal.com/point-field-power-source-universe/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-10-18T12:08:00.001+02:00

DNA Is The Road Map Of Life
Is This The Map For Everything else?
Zero Point Field – Connecting Man and Matter
http://www.theyreal.com/point-field-power-sorce-universe/

2011-10-18T12:07:00.001+02:00

Zero Point Field – The Power Sorce Of The Universe? http://www.theyreal.com/point-field-power-sorce-universe/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-10-15T23:30:00.001+02:00

Coincidences - Inside Our Alien Parallel World
http://www.theyreal.com/coincidences-scriptedand-whos-writer/

2011-10-14T11:55:00.001+02:00

Coincidences - Inside Our Alien Parallel World
http://www.theyreal.com/coincidences-scriptedand-whos-writer/

2011-10-13T17:59:00.001+02:00

Coincidences - Inside Our Alien Parallel World
http://www.theyreal.com/coincidences-scriptedand-whos-writer/

2011-10-12T17:32:00.001+02:00

Aliens Working With The Ancients On Earth - http://www.theyreal.com/ancients-do-the-impossible-or-was-it-aliens/

2011-10-10T10:27:00.001+02:00

Are Coincidences Scripted-And If They Are Who’s The Writer? http://www.theyreal.com/coincidences-scriptedand-whos-writer/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-10-06T10:17:00.001+02:00

The Wonder of Educayshun! http://www.theyreal.com/educayshun/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-10-02T17:27:00.005+02:00

Will The European 'Utopia' Survive? http://www.theyreal.com/european-utopia-survive/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-10-02T17:27:00.003+02:00

The Aliens Within - The Answer http://www.theyreal.com/aliens-answer/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-10-02T17:27:00.001+02:00

NASA - Alien Cover Up! http://www.theyreal.com/nasa-alien-cover/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-10-01T11:45:00.001+02:00

NASA – Alien Cover Up!
In search of the truth - the time for cover-ups has gone!
http://www.theyreal.com/2011/09/29/nasa-alien-cover/

2011-09-29T11:38:00.001+02:00

NASA Whistleblower: Alien Moon Cities Exist
http://www.theyreal.com/2011/09/29/nasa-alien-cover/

2011-09-29T11:37:00.001+02:00

NASA – Alien Cover Up! http://www.theyreal.com/2011/09/29/nasa-alien-cover/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-09-28T19:27:00.001+02:00

Ancient Atomic War - Science Fiction or Science Fact? http://www.theyreal.com/2011/09/28/ancient-atomic-war-science-fiction-science-fact-2/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed

2011-09-26T14:15:00.001+02:00

The Aliens Within - The Answer
How Our Alien Masters Have Steered Our Minds!
http://ping.fm/H0qnv

2011-09-24T12:52:00.001+02:00

The Aliens Within - How They Are shaping Our Lives!
http://ping.fm/j3oBs

2011-09-23T17:05:00.001+02:00

http://ping.fm/vpKUq

2008-09-17T18:10:00.003+02:00

Taming the Thames
Part 2

http://www.med-living.com

So we got our 14-foot sailing dinghy to Havengore Creek in the early hours of the morning.
Havengore Creek taught me that that you can actually be f*cked by a swing bridge which doesn’t at 4 in the morning.
I kid you not.
To those of you who read the enthralling first part to this epic saga, and are back for episode two.
For those of you determined to read on, despite having read the first episode, I sincerely hope you recover with treatment. Time they say is a great healer.
Anyway, I digress.
We had sailed proudly into Havengore Creek, ready to continue on our journey in a fourteen-foot dinghy to Hullbridge in Essex.
I say sailed proudly, anyone is entitled to a little journalistic licence.
We were cold, tired, soaked to the skin and suffering from third degree burns from that joyous instrument of terror, the Primus Stove.
We had failed to heat the tin of curry, and had eaten it cold, heavily seasoned with a teasing sauce of agua de sea.
Apparently the Americans have devised a method of extracting information from terror suspects enjoying their free holiday in the Hotel Guantanamo Bay.
It’s called the water torture, and has caused questions as to its legality to be raised worldwide.
Has no one told them that five minutes with a Primus Stove can reduce a grown man to the status of a well done BBQ sausage.
And it’s legal.
I’m lost. Ah yes. The swing bridge that didn’t!
We dragged the dinghy through the Essex mud, it is thicker than an Essex girl I promise you, and probably smells worse too.
And there in front of us stood the Havengore swing bridge in all its glory.
And, oh joy, next to it, the bridge keeper’s lodge.
Easy, ring the bell, bridge keeper opens the bridge, and we can go back to dragging the boat towards our goal.
That was the theory.
Enter the buggeration factor.
Murphy’s law to those who have never been buggered.
The bridge keeper was obviously a lot more sensible than we were, the note on the door informed us that he was at home having his well deserved weekend off.
Nice thought, he signed it “Happy Sailing”
Bastard!
“No problem,” said my nautically challenged skipper. "We’ll step the mast.”
“Why do we want to step on the mast?”, I asked. “We want to get under the bridge, not climb onto it.”
“Git,” he said in his normal friendly tone. “Step the mast means take it down, remove it, lower it!”
“And how do we do that?”, I whimsically enquired.
“We unscrew it you jerk”
“With what?” I helpfully enquired.
He looked at me just like the wife does when I suggest starting a home repair. A look of aloof disdain teasingly tinted with just a hint of violence.
“With the screwdriver,” he advised.
By now his face had gone bright red and the veins were standing out on his neck as he prepared to belt me one.
I wondered if now was the time to point out that the screwdriver was buried deep in the mud of the Maplin Sands. Left where it fell as we dived out of the boat filled with blazing water.
The fate of the screwdriver appeared to seep into his memory as he quickly changed the subject and clambered up onto the bank.
If you remember, I did mention earlier that my geographically challenged skipper had charted our course taking us through War Department property.
We were smack bang in the middle of Her Britanic Majesty’s Atomic Weapons Research Establishment on Foulness Island.
Marked on the charts with a skull and crossbones bearing the legend “Keep Out.”
I joined him sitting shivering on the muddy bank as we decided what our next move would be.
In my case it was to find myself suddenly and violently lying on my back with my shipmate attempting to give me a tongue sandwich.
Funny what flashes through your mind at times like that, he didn’t look gay and he’s got dogs breath, were but two of them.
I opened my eyes to find myself staring at what must have inspired Conan Doyle to write the Hound of the Baskervilles.
This “thing” had one foot on my chest and its teeth but inches from my throat. And the bloody thing was salivating as it eyed its next din dins, me.
Then this voice screams out, “Don’t move for chrissake he’s new!”
Is he real?. Moving was near the bottom of my to do list. Controlling bowel movements was my number one priority, that and survival.
“War Department police,” the voice said, “And I’ve lost his handler.”
“Oh dear how careless to lose the doggie’s handler”, I said. Or words to that effect.
“Has it eaten,” I asked.
“This isn’t a time for joking, “ said the copper.
I’m sure they only recruit the brain dead. Twelve stone of teeth is about to give me a love bite, and he tells me to stop joking.
Suddenly a piercing whistle broke through the noise of my tears.
Enter one dog handler shaking almost as much as I was.
Fang looked lovingly at my throat, but backed off slowly, much to my relief.
“Had me a bit worried there,” said the handler.
“No worries,” I said, “It had me terrified."
Anyway once things had settled down, Mr Plod reveals that they had picked us up on their “sensors.”
“Is that like KY jelly?”, I asked.
“The sound sensors,” was the mirthless reply.
What followed for the next twenty minutes was two Ministry of Defence policemen, bored to %%%%, who have come across a sailing boat at 4am with two evil spies in it.
“No I don’t have a passport, identification, a camera or a police record.”
“Yes I am British”
“No I didn’t know I was trespassing.”
“No this is not camouflage cream covering my entire body, its mud.”
“Yes I did realise that the mud is wet.”
“I’m very sorry for upsetting your nice dog.”
“No I do not have a nervous tic, I’m shivering.”
“Yes it was silly to wear wet mud at night.”
And so it went on.
Eventually we managed to convince these idiots that they had not stopped a Russian invasioniary force of two from taking control of their “patch.”
“You’ll have to sign the official secrets act confirming all you have just told us.”
“Fine, where do we sign?” They had no idea.
It soon became clear that nobody had ever made it through the obstacles below the water line designed to sink boats like ours before.
And we did it at low tide too!
Anyway, our two new best friends took us back to their Police Station, known aptly as “The Coppers Rest,” and produced the official looking documents to sign.
Give them their due, they also filled a thermos flask with coffee for us to take with us, and gave us coffee and bickies while we were there.
So now we go back to our boat, faced with the problem of getting a twelve-foot mast under a five-foot clearance bridge!
But that's another story!

2008-09-08T18:57:00.002+02:00

Taming the Thames
Mike Samuels

I was asked recently if I was a “yachtie”. Me!
Me what sailed the squalls and tempests of the Regents Park boating lake reliving Swallows and Amazons.
Me that had the distinction of sailing my full rigged schooners so fast I beat the Isle of Wight ferry.
OK , I was rowing and the first I knew about the ferry was when his air horns nearly blasted me out of the water coz I was rowing right across its path!
Me what sailed from Old Leigh in Essex to Hullbridge in a 14’ dinghy.
A trip we’d planned to take 4 hours.
We cast off, ramming very few moored boats, and set our sails towards the setting sun.
Actually the sun was behind us, but it didn’t sound so good, and you couldn’t see it anyway as it disappeared after an hour as mist closed in.
So we headed towards our destination sailing serenely along the Essex coast.
Maybe 5 hours into our 2 hour journey I began to suspect that my seafaring mate was not the old sea dog he’d professed to be.
I was even more sure when he brought out his nautical map, an A to Z of London streets.
Give him his due, there was a blue line which said river Thames.
Then the rain started.
Not gentle little drops, but the sort of rain that fills a little dinghy in a matter of minutes…so we both sheltered snugly under a paper carrier bag.
We got wet!
By the time the rain had stopped, the skipper announced that we would not reach our destination in the time allotted, highly perceptive of him as it was now 9pm and we’d been sailing for seven hours!
So much for two hours.
I forgot to mention that my mate, the skipper, was employed by Fords as scheduler…no wonder they had difficulty in making cars on time!
I did start to wonder if things were as planned, when a passing tanker called us on their loud hailer, and asked if we needed help!
We thanked them and said no, as we merrily sailed through the waves at the tanker's stern.
Such fun as the water leapt over our little boat. I now know what a car feels like in a car wash.
We sailed on, soaking wet, and shortly afterwards, the tidal Thames did what it does best, and changed tide, going out just when we wanted it at its deepest to allow us to pàss over the mudflats and sail into Havengore Creek..
There is a notorious area at the mouth of the Thames called the Maplin Sands. Maplin Mud more like it. When the tide goes out, the mudflats appear.
And small boats which are caught out there tend to act in a strange way.
They sink.
Discretion being the better part of valor, we decided to drop anchor and wait for the tide to come back in.
Anchor?
Ever seen the wheels on a tractor? OK.
So we dropped the middle bit of a tractor wheel, which was tied to a length of string that he called rope, which was tied to the boat...and waited.
It worked, we stopped and, by way of celebration and relief, our intrepid skipper broke out the rations and we moored up to a mud flat.
Curry was on the menu which we cooked on a small primus stove.
Not an easy task as the boat was still half-full of water.
No problem said my intrepid sea dog friend.
We can get out of the dinghy and stand on the mud flat while we balance the primus stove on one of the two planks which served as seats.
Now I don’t know if you have ever used a primus stove, but they are lethal.
Never let yer granny near one unless she’s made a will.
The idea is that you put your saucepan full of food on a small ring on top of the stove.
Then you have to light the burner.
But in those days these contraptions from hell burnt paraffin.
No problem, just prime it.
So I started pumping this little lever to bring the paraffin up to the top and my mate had a match out to light the stuff as it appeared.
Now I know that sounds simple, but we were standing on thick mud in maybe 18 inches of water.
The boat was rocking as boats do in the gentle breeze.
But a gentle breeze in the Thames estuary is what you’d call a storm if you experienced the same force of the wind ashore.
Anyway, I’m priming, pumping and trying to hold this stove steady while Indiana Jones lights the paraffin.
Easy stuff, we got the flame going with no problem at all.
But, nobody told me to stop pumping.
The stringy bit was burning beautifully, and as I pumped furiously, the flame followed the paraffin down the stove, along the seat and into the bottom of the boat.
Did you know water catches fire?
Neither did I, but the water in our boat was soon ablaze.
I bet you also didn’t know, that burning paraffin spreads so nice and quickly in a sea breeze.
Try pouring petrol on a barbie, and you’ll get the idea!
After having spent hours bailing the water out of our little dinghy, we now stood on the mud like two demented idiots tossing water back into the boat as we battled to put the flames out.
Then the rain started again, and far from putting the flames out they just floated higher, even the skipper from hell started to panic as our one little sail joined in the fun and caught light as the flames crawled up the ropes that were laying in the bottom of the boat.
Eventually we managed to control the inferno, and as we made a coffee from cold water from his flask, we decided to sit it out and wait for the tide to come in.
Now I’m not saying I was sailing with a nutcase, but miles from shore and sitting in 18 inches of water the skipper remembers silly things.
Unimportant things like, we can’t sail into Havengore Creek, our next point on what was turning out to be an epic voyage, until the tide is at its highest because of obstacles in the water designed to hole little boats just like ours.
He had forgotten to tell me that we were entering Ministry of Defence waters and the channel we were heading for passed right slap bang through the middle of an atomic weapons research station
Waters which are top secret, and admittance is forbidden to the unauthorised, a category which includes lunatic sailors.
Waters full of anti-submarine obstacles designed to commit atrocities to steel hulls.
Now he tells me!
Our wooden hull stood no chance, it was a breeding ground for woodworm, and the burnt bits from our cookery lesson hadn’t helped.
No problem, says he. These shallow channels are a doddle at full tide. We just sit here and wait for the tide to reach its full level and sail in under the radar.
Radar???.
I realised he was worried when a look of horror passed over his face.
Worrying about the radar I asked.
Forget the radar says he, we may have a problem.
A bigger problem than the army and the radar, and the boat bloody sinking, I asked.
Yes says he.
By now I am starting to regret bunking off Sunday School when I was a kid, and wondering if knowing the first verse of The Lords Prayer guarantees redemption.
Do you reckon our anchor rope is 4 metres long, he asked.
No idea I said, wondering if he was gonna hang himself before we drowned.
That’s good he said, it’s a 4 metre tide.
Tied to what I asked?
Not tied, he corrected, tide. T-I-D-E.
Oooo tide, I said. So what does that mean.
Well anything short of a 4 metre rope and we’d be swept into the creek where all the obstacles are, and they’d rip the bottom out of our boat.
We both jumped over the side as panic set in, to measure the rope.
Now there is this phenomenon on the Maplin Sands, which means that if you stand in 18 inches of water at low tide, over mud flats...that 18 inches deepens rapidly as the tide starts to come in.
And mud flats are certainly not flat.
And not flat mud flats have bloody great trenches around them And these trenches fill with water quicker than any other part.
And at night the mud flats and these trenches full of water all look the same colour.
Anyway, as I said, we both jumped on to the mud around the little yacht to find out how long the rope was.
And disappeared!
We both surfaced at about the same time and swam back to the side of the boat.
Pulling our way round to the front of the boat, we tugged at the rope.
No slack. We had already run out of anchor rope.
No problem, back into the boat, float in on the tide, and try to push ourselves clear of the bottom tearing obstacles with the oars.
I say no problem.
Have you ever tried to climb back into a boat which is running with the tide, dragging its anchor whilst trying to stop your wellies floating off up the Thames?
A boat where the mooring rope is now so tight that the boat is trying to act like a champagne cork trying to escape from a bottle?
It ain’t easy I can assure you.
But it is possible once sheer panic sets in.
Back in the boat, soaking wet, bloody cold and in a state of terror we sat huddled, one each side of the dinghy, with oars in our hands.
Now you’ve heard the saying about a light in the wilderness, there is such a light.
It sits at the bridge keeper’s lodge which in turn sits beside the swing bride at the entrance to Havengore Creek.
There it was, our salvation.
Now lights at sea, or rather lights on land as viewed from the sea are very deceptive.
They move, and keep moving.
At least that was what we had begun to believe as we pulled the boat out of the third creek which had suddenly ended.
More an inlet than a river.
Eventually we found the right one and the tide carried us up to the low bridge.
I say low, it was less than 2 metres above the boat.
I was about to learn three valuable lessons.
Swing bridges don’t swing at night, and masts are higher than a swing bridge.
And you can’t sail under the radar, the police are waiting for you!
But that’s another story…

2008-07-30T19:30:00.002+02:00

med-living.com

Replaces med-liv.com
To all those of you suffering withdrawal symptoms, here is a fun page from Mediterranean Living.
Find us at http://www.med-living.com

She was blonde and beautiful and it was her first time in the saddle.

The guy of her dreams had invited her to go horse riding with him, with stars in her eyes she had agreed.

Now it was just the two of them, slowly cantering along the beach.

Her body was alive with thoughts of making love in the gentle surf as it broke on the beach.

But then something frightened her goñden steed.

Sharply it veered off and picked up speed as it began to gallop out of control.

Faster and faster it sped, she hung on in fear of her life.

Then as quickly as it had started to run, the horse stopped and reared up, jigh on its hind legs.

She felt herself falling backwards with her foot caught in the stirrup, and she fell heavily, head first to the ground.

Her horse didn’t stop andh her head bounced on the ground as the horse would not stop or even slow down.

She felt herself losing consciousness…

Then her money ran out, she jumped off the roundabout and ran to the candy floss stall.

Which reminds me that taking Viagra like an attraction at Disneyland.

You have to wait an hour for a two minute ride!

My mate Ian is a kid at heart.

The other day he was in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.

Every time he threw it into the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds then it comes crashing back down.

But Ian’s no quitter.

He persevered, throwing the kite and watching it nose dive into the ground.

So his wife is watching all this from the kitchen window.

Then the window opens and she yells to Ian, “You need more tail."

Ian turned slowly round, and through gritted teeth shouted, , "Make up yer ferkin mind, last night in bed you told me to go fly a kite!"

I was backstage at the theatre the other day, I just love the atmosphere just before curtain up.

We were putting on the ballet, The Nutcracker Suite. Just writing it makes my eyes water!

Anyway, all but two of the ballerinas were in costume early for the matinee performance.

At 1:55 the distressed director, flapping like a Prima Donna himself, asked these two ballerinas in the chorus why they were not yet in costume.

“It’s five minutes to curtain up”, he trilled.

If he’d flapped any more he would have taken off quicker than the curtain could rise!

So Cyntia looks at him haughtily and says, "I never dress until 1:58, bad luck you see"

His eyes flashing murderousñy through his eye-liner, he turned to other dancer and pouted, “And what about you, luvvey, don’t tell me you’re superstitious too?" he asked.

"Oh yes”, she flounced, her eyes showing absolute distaste, “I have a two to two tutu, too!”

2008-07-28T21:33:00.002+02:00

med-liv.com is now med-living.com

Mediterranean Living magazine has now changed web address to:
http://www.med-living.com

Summer edition of Mediterranean Living is now online.

2008-07-19T23:14:00.001+02:00

http://www.med-living.com

Mediterranean Living Magazinehas changed to http://www.med-living.com

Find us now at...
http://www.med-living.com

I'll write more when I resolve the situation, but be warned:

I renewed my domain name from a reseller of...
http://www.enom.com

The reseller has taken my money but not actioned my domain renewal.

I have contaced http://www.enom.com/ asking them to help, but all they do is refer me to the reseller.
http://www.enom.com/ have also bought the domain name I wanted which is great, but will not transfer it to me.

I have no option now but to recover my money from Paypal.

Watch this space...and be careful who you do business with on here.

Mike

2008-07-19T23:12:00.000+02:00

Life's answers

My wife and I were sitting in a bar recently, and I must have been staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink, as she sat alone at a nearby table.
"Do you know her?", asked the wife.
"Yes," I sighed. "She’s an old girlfriend. She started drinking after we split up, years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since."
"Wow!" says the wife. "Who would think a person could go on Celebrating that long?"

At times like this, I think to myself, you could have married Cherie Blair mate!
But then I think, Cherie's worth a fortune.
I also hear she's the numero uno barrister for Human Rights in the UK.
Missed her vocation, with her looks it should have been animal rights.
Mind you, she got half way there when she married our Tone.
Did you hear Cherrie spouting off about how Tone is advising El Gordo how to win the next election.
That's a bit like asking the captain of the Titanic for sailing lessons.
It's no coincidence that Cherie has started talking to the press, her long awaited book has hit the shops earlier than planned.
Earlier than planned...that's marketing speak for "I got it out before the sh*t hit the fan"
You see, you can fool all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, but if the people don't speak English in the first place you can fool all of the people all of the time.
Tone is nobody's fool.
He has now realised that the number one money making business in the world is religion.
That's why we don't hear too much from him at the moment.
He's a Protestant convert to Catholicism already.
I now believe that we will shortly see the Reverend, Father, Rabbi, Imam Pope Tone the 1st as the next Queen of England.

Do you ever wonder about life?
I do.
All the strain, all the pain, and then…nothing.
You die.

But I’ve been thinking.
Maybe, just maybe, someone got it all wrong.
People talk about the Great Architect of life, what if he had the plans upside down?
It does happen.

Maybe what we call negatives in photography are really positives.
We’d all walk around black and white.

And the Earth.
Maybe we should be living inside, not outside.
In one stroke we’d do away with global warming and ozone layers.
No more heating bills.
Aeroplanes would be built to fly in water.
Space would start on the surface.
It all makes sense.
All we’d have to worry about was that no one pulled the plug, the inside of the Earth would fill with water.

And life itself.
We go through the hassle of existing, and what happens at the end.
Nothing…we die.
But what if we started off dead.
First thing we’d know is waking up in an old people’s home, feeling better every day.
You’d know things could only get better.
Then they’d kick you out for being too young and healthy, you could then start collecting your pension, then, all of a sudden when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You’d work for forty years feeling better all the time.
You’d feel fitter, younger, and full of life.
Your teeth would fall back in, you’d de-bald and other parts of you, if you’re a man, would start looking up again.
The longer it went on the more virile you’d get.
One long party until you’re ready to start school.
You graduate on your first day, snog all the girls you could find, and get ready for junior school.
There you’d become a kid, play all day long, no responsibilities, and “George” would be peeking out all day long.
As time went on you’d leave school to become a playschool kid.
Then as you got even younger, oh happy days.
You’d live in centrally heated luxury, nothing to do but sleep and play with boobs all day long.
Your food on tap.
You wouldn’t even have to get up to go the bathroom.
Then someone would turn the lights of and you’d spend your last 9 months in warm peaceful sleep.
And then one day, when your time had really come…you’d finish your life as an orgasm.
Go out with a bang!

2008-07-19T23:04:00.002+02:00

http://www.med-living.com

Mediterranean Living Magazinehas changed to http://www.med-living.com

You Live And Learn!

2008-01-11T21:58:00.001+01:00

I've often said after reading something I wrote, "I wish I could write like that".

Then lo and behold I find I'm not alone!

I was reading this week that it's a common occurrence, and it's all down to your muse.

Now there's me thinking a mews is a little street in London, round the back of big houses, where they used to stable the horses.

No, this muse is someone who does your writing for you. Like a MacDonalds Take-Away but for words.

You sit there, do nothing and all of a sudden your word meal is ready to publish.

Joking aside, there is a lot to be said for just sitting there and typing.

Type anything.

And surprisingly the words do start to flow.

No corrections, that comes later. Just write.

Don't even think about what you're writing.

And voilà, your article is ready!

Mind you, they do also say, that given enough time, you can sit a monkey in front of a typewriter and it will type the complete works of Shakespeare.

Sigh...now I have to decide whether I'm assisted by a muse or a monkey!

2008-01-08T20:38:00.000+01:00

I put a lot of work into Mediterranean Living print magazine.
Hour and hours of research go into each edition.

I was talking to a lady today who said that she seemed to discover something new on each page.
Now I've been wondering for ages now how to shape this blog, what direction it should take.
So I'm going to start from today by linking to articles in previous editions, new articles of up to the minute interest and anything that is interesting, informative or a bloody good laugh!

Let's start with this true-life story from the US of A...
True Life Horror. - The men in black watched the mother give birth, then took the baby away.
Why? The baby does not have mother's DNA. Any parent's worst nightmare! http://www.med-liv.com/Articles Index.html

While you're there take a look at how teen millionairess Patty Hearst became a victim of The Stockholm Syndrome. The Syndrome occurs when a hostage becomes so reliant in their captors that they establish a loving relationship. Bizarre but true. http://www.med-liv.com/Articles Index.html

How do the silver screen's most glamorous stars rate their men?
Just to whet your appetite, one classic came from the 12 year old girl in the spoof movie Airplane.
When asked by the hostess how she likes her coffee she replies, "The same as I like my men, strong and black"
Now sit back and enjoy Mae West, Zsa Zsa Gabor and Joan Rivers as they slag off the superior sex! http://www.med-liv.com/Articles Index.html

Lots more of the same to follow.
Have a good one,
Mike

2008-01-06T10:52:00.000+01:00

Is Being Too Clean Killing Us?

My mother was the daughter of a coal miner from the north of England.
One of the things she always used to say was, “As my mother used to say, thicker the dirt, better the man”.
Just a saying, of course, but what was an old wives tale, yet again appears to have a basis in fact.

Mother Nature likes to keep a balance between the good and the bad, she seems to like to offset one against the other. Live and let live.

So while the bad guys in our bodies are trying to harm us, and existing, the good guys trying to protect us, while also existing.

One of the puzzles of health today, is that at a time when the developed countries have never been cleaner, previously unknown diseases are appearing.
Diseases such as hay fever and asthma to diabetes and multiple sclerosis are on the rise, whereas they are relatively unknown in the poorer countries.

Joel Weinstock, the head of gastroenterology and herpetology at Tufts New England Medical Centre, believes we have become just too clean.
Read the article here... http://www.med-liv.com/Medical Update.html

Talking about cleanliness, they say it's next to Godliness, which has very little to do with
little Johnny who boarded a bus and sat down next to this man.
He noticed that the man had a strange kind of collar, so he asked him, "Excuse me sir, but why do you have your shirt collar on backwards?" He was a posh little git!
The man smiled kindly and replied, "I wear this collar because I am a Father."
Little Johnny thought for a second then said, "Sir, I have a father, but he wears his collar the other way around. Why do you wear your collar so differently?"
The priest thought for a moment then said, "I am the father of many."
Little Johnny quickly said, "My father, too, is the father of many. He has four sons, four daughters and many grandchildren. But, he wears his collar like everyone else does. Why do you wear yours backwards?"
The priest, flustered, said impatiently, "I am the Father of hundreds and hundreds of people." Little Johnny sat quietly for a while.
As he got up to leave the bus, he leaned over to the priest and said, "Mister, maybe you should wear your trousers backwards."

Have a good one,
Mike

2008-01-04T17:29:00.000+01:00

Happy New Year for 2008

Had a great start with this blog.
Added a few meaningful tweaks of my own...to perfect things you know.

Lost the bloody lot.
Sigh.
So please excuse the rather bare page, I hope to sort it out shortly. Either that, knowing my luck and skill, this is the last post!
Winter edition of the mag is out now, if you haven't seen a copy yet, then either be bloody patient, or you can read it on the net at: www.med-liv.com
As the most popular part of the mag seems to be the jokes, I've started pages on the website for all you pervs, racists and heathens out there. Take a look.
I say pages, there is on, but it's a start.
You can also sign up for a regular dose of funnies by email...just send an unstamped email to laughs@med-liv.com and mark the subject jokes.

This reminded me of my younger days,

A lonely wife brought a man she had just met at a bar home to her bedroom one evening when she thought her husband was out of town.
They immediately tore each other's clothes off and started going at it.
She sat up quickly in bed as she heard the key in the lock.
"Quick!" she said to the man, "it's my husband! You've got to get out of here quick!"
"Where's the back door?" the man asked as he grabbed his clothes.
"There isn't one," she replied.
"Where would you like one?" he asked.

Reuters came up with these facts, about the production of cocaine in Latin America, this week.

Of the money earned,

2% goes to the growers.

0.7% goes to those who convert it from a leaf to pure cocaine;

5.2% goes on the “system” in the country of origin, the wholesalers if you like.

91%, goes to the drug barons, dealers and sellers.

So just 2.7% goes to the producers, those involved before the Mr Bigs of the drugs world get their filthy mitts on it.

Much of this 2.7% goes to feed the starving poor in Latin America, and many areas now rely on the growing of drugs as a source of income.
America spends a fortune fighting the drugs trade in South America.
I know it sounds simplistic, but wouldn’t money diverted to these poor countries to give a reasonable minimum wage encourage the growers to give up growing the illegal crops?

2007-03-31T23:56:00.000+02:00

Tour Date

La Magia Del Musical

Senior Company
Teatre Sa Tablera - Andratx
13, 14 & 15 April

Grease

Youth Company
Sala Mozart - Auditorium, Palma
28 & 29 April

Tour Date

La Magia Del Musical

Senior Company
Teatre Escénic - Campos
11,12 & 13 May

Snow White

Junior Company
Sala Mozart - Auditorium, Palma
19 & 20 May

Plus:

Watch This Space For exciting News!

New productions on the way...information follows soon.

2007-03-09T07:55:00.000+01:00

Welcome to MMS...Made me Smile

Ain't Life Funny

The fact that our views on aging change throughout our lives is not what makes it unique. (Our views on almost everything we think about will change throughout our lives as we continue to gain more and more perspective and experience to draw on.)

It’s the inescapable nature of the subject that makes it worth looking at and finding humor in. Whether you’re the president of the United States or flipping burgers at White Castle, you have an age, and that number means something to you and the people around you.

Aging is an experience we all share, and that alone makes it noteworthy…

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

“How old are you?” “I’m four and a half!” You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. “How old are you?” “I’m gonna be 16!” You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 . . .. and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; “I Was JUST 92.”

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. “I’m 100 and a half!”

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

2007-02-17T12:35:00.000+01:00

Extortion, Blackmail, an affair with a married man and Mafia connections.

Oh Brother, What A Sister!

The shocking story of the REAL Shilpa Shetty

Daily Mail by PAUL BRACCHI 16th February 2007

How many people does it take to make an outfit for Shilpa Shetty? The answer is 40.

A magnificent hand-embroidered tunic created by the Indian version of Stella McCartney is being painstakingly stitched by a team of helpers.

It will be ready in time for Shilpa's date with the Queen next month. Such occasions are becoming commonplace for her: last week, an audience with Tony Blair, now an invitation to celebrate Commonwealth Day with Her Majesty.

A service at Westminster Abbey will be followed by a reception for select dignitaries (of which the 31-year-old actress is one).

There are surely times when Shilpa must think she is starring in her own Bollywood blockbuster. Could there be a more unbelievable script - and fairy-tale finale - than the story of the Celebrity Big Brother winner?

She was called "Shilpa Poppadom" and the "Indian" in the Big Brother house. By the time she emerged, Jade Goody had become a pariah, pop star Jo O'Meara was on suicide watch, model Danielle Lloyd had been ditched by her soccer star boyfriend, and Shilpa, according to the Bombay Times, was the "most recognised Indian face in the world".

She has received more than 200 offers of work - commercials, modelling, presenting, book deals, film roles, even a part in Andrew Lloyd Webber's revival of West End musical Bombay Dreams - totalling £10 million.

During a shopping spree last week, in between appearing on breakfast TV and Richard & Judy - for which she was paid handsomely - she blew £30,000 on Boodles earrings, a Vivienne Westwood jacket and Gina shoes.

Days earlier, it was £4,000 in four hours on jewellery, a coat, six pairs of high heels, a designer handbag and Victoria Beckham jeans. But who would wish, or dare, to criticise Shilpa in the wake of her near beatification?

Today, her younger sister gives an interview to Weekend magazine, but there is another side to the family's life back home in Bombay they would prefer people not to know.
Read the full story in Mediterranean Living...
http://www.med-liv.com/A%20Shilpa.html

For the stories behind the news...The Daily Mail
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=436517&in_page_id=1770&ito=1490

2007-01-26T22:15:00.000+01:00

ML Update 5

"Mystery Shopper" Scam

The Office of Fair Trading in the UK has put out a warning for yet another scheme to separate you from your hard earned "readies".
Unsuspecting people (mugs) are told they have been chosen as a secret shopper.
They will be paid £350 for posing as a potential customer at particular retailer to check out how efficient the staff are.
However, the cheque is counterfeit and the money wired to Canada is simply collected by the scammer who does a runner.More...

What a Life!
The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books.
Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Francis, I ain't got no crayons."
"Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't have any crayons.' You don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?"
"Not really," Willie said, "What happened to all the f*cking crayons?" More...

I.C.E – In Case of Emergency.

New international mobile phone address book entry.

Now you can help the emergency services locate your next of kin ones should you be involved in an accident.

Bob Brotchie, a clinical team leader for the East Anglian Ambulance Service in the UK after experiencing difficulty in tracing contact details from shocked or injured patients. More...

2007-01-21T22:22:00.000+01:00

med-liv Update
New Stuff On Our Website
http://www.med-liv.com

Fancy a laugh?...

A woman’s strained voice called out through the darkened theatre, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?!"
Several men stood up as the lights came on.
An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her.
"Good, are any of you doctors interested in a date with a nice, single, Jewish girl?"

A woman goes to see her doctor.
She says, "Doc, I just got back from a few weeks in the Bahamas. The weather was so great I spent most of the days just lying on the sand. But the strangest thing happened.
“Whenever a good looking guy came by, I would get this strange tingling sensation between my toes."
The doctor thought this was kind of unusual and examined her.
He asked her if she had this sensation between all of her toes.
She replied, "Actually no, just between my 2 big toes."

Science Getting To Grips With Ghosts

'Either I or the scientist is a fool with our opposing views of probability,' William James wrote.

He felt that the risk of appearing foolish was holding back scientific examination of the World Beyond.
James was a world-renowned professor of psychology at Harvard University, a doctor and a scientist, and was acclaimed as one of the leading intellects of the time.
Over 100 years ago he suddenly announced that he believed in ghosts, and so started his lifetime search for scientific evidence to prove it.
The research project was launched linking scholars and mediums on three continents.
Its brief was simple, to discover whether living humans could talk to dead ones.
Newspapers warmed to the story and one described it as "remarkable experiments testing the reality of life after death."
More...http://www.med-liv.com/A ML Blog 3.html

Closer To Home

From Issue 33, Mediterranean Living
On an even more personal note, my best friend Ron was murdered. Gunned down by a psycho.
For days I felt so cold in the house.
A week later I was feeling weird, to put it mildly. I had this overwhelming feeling that Ron was there.
I tearfully said to Denise, “I can feel him, taste him, smell him, oh God Den, he’s here!”.
“I know”, she said, “I can see him”.
More...http://www.med-liv.com/A ML Blog 3A.html

Before you go...

The map her friend had drawn indicated that the client, a country vet she was to see, lived in the second farm past Yin road.
Try as she might, the vet could not find a Yin Road anywhere!
Exasperated, she finally stopped to ask directions.
She stopped and asked at the next farm.
"I ain't never heard of no Yin Road." said the farmer. "But ya might try askin' old man McGillicuddy, he's lived 'round here for better 'n 70 years."
"Thanks," replied the vet. "Where can I find him?"
"He lives on the second farm past the Y in the road."

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged.
However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."

A teacher asks her class to use the word ‘contagious’ in a sentence.
Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, "Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Would anyone else like to try?"
Little Johnny raises his hand and stands to give his answer.
"Our next door neighbor was painting her house by hand, and my dad said it would take the contagious."

2007-01-18T10:16:00.000+01:00

med-liv Blog 4

SatNav Theft

Police say motorists should wipe personal details from the gadgets or risk having their homes ransacked.
Thieves are stealing car's satellite navigation systems so that they can use them to target people's homes in burglaries, police warned.
Criminals are breaking into vehicles parked in public places to take sat navs before following the directions to 'home' which many users store on the gadget.

They then are able to make their second 'hit' on the victim - and burgle the property knowing the occupant is likely to be out.

Police urged motorists to wipe their personal details from the gadgets or risk having their homes ransacked. Or maybe use the name of a person rather than the word "home".
The portable kits have become a number one target for thieves as they are easy to steal and are not security coded like in-car hi-fi systems.

Last year there were more than a million thefts from vehicles, with up to a quarter of these thought to be sat navs.
Electronic devices such as sat navs are a particularly lucrative target because they can be easily sold on for cash while also instantly coughing up the owner's address.

Many have cradles which leave distinctive marks on the window, meaning there may be a sat nav hidden in the glove box or under the seat.
Choose a sat-nav device with built in anti-theft features so it can't be used by anyone who doesn't know the pin code.
******************************************

The Washington Post's yearly contest where readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words -- and the winners are...
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Continued below...
******************************************

Issue 33 of Mediterranean Living continued...

You can read here the parts we wouldn't print.
Not for young people or those who might be upset by graphic descriptions of unpleasant historical facts.

The Horror of the Images on the Man Wrapped in the Shroud of Turin

In the images on the Shroud of Turin there are clear signs of scourging and beating and there are also the unmistakable wounds of crucifixion.

Pathologists who have studied the image say that the man of the shroud was savagely whipped, crucified, died and was wrapped in the Shroud after rigor mortis had set in.

The whip used exactly fits with a Roman flagrum, which was a whip of short leather thongs tipped with pieces of lead, bronze or bone which tore into flesh and muscle. See opposite.

There are dozens upon dozens of dumbbell shaped welts and tears, the type of wound that the flagellum would have caused.

There is blood from the whipping visible inside the images of the wounds..

More...http://www.med-liv.com/Ashroud.html

Snakes Can Predict Earthquakes!

Scientists in China have developed a new way of predicting earthquakes, watching snakes smash into walls in an effort to escape them, but before they happen!
Experts at the earthquake bureau in Nanning monitor snake farms via 24-hour internet video links.
Scientists say the snakes can sense an earthquake from 120km away, up to five days before it happens.
They start to behave erratically, even smashing into walls to escape, scientists said.
"Of all the creatures on the Earth, snakes are perhaps the most sensitive to earthquakes," Jiang Weisong, director of the earthquake bureau in Nanning, told The China Daily.
"When an earthquake is about to occur, snakes will move out of their nests, even in the cold of winter. If the earthquake is a big one, the snakes will even smash into walls while trying to escape," he told the newspaper.
Nanning is an area prone to earthquakes, and is one of 12 Chinese cities monitored by hi-tech equipment. It also has 143 animal monitoring units.
"By installing cameras over the snake nests, we have improved our ability to forecast earthquakes. The system could be extended to other parts of the country to make our earthquake forecasts more precise," Mr Jiang said.
China is frequently struck by earthquakes.
In 1976, some 250,000 people died when the city of Tangshan was devastated by an earthquake.
******************************************
Continuing...

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist (bowel specialist-medicine) immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts

2007-01-17T10:19:00.000+01:00

med-liv Update - Our World!

In most studies checking signs of green tea’s effects in people, antioxidant levels in the blood increase, showing we can absorb antioxidant compounds in tea. For example, in a study of 133 heavy smokers — who are exposed to DNA damage from smoking — four months of drinking four cups (8 ounces each) of decaffeinated green tea daily reduced the signs of DNA damage by 31 percent.

******

A Safety Pin that could spare more than just your blushes!

The technology exists which would allow ATM users to contact police in an emergency by punching in their PIN (personal identification number) in reverse, but as of this writing it has not yet been implemented.

Lawmakers in the several US States introduced legislation calling for the institution of reverse-PIN emergency notification systems (also known under the brand name SafetyPIN) in 2004, but the Kansas bill stalled in committee and the Illinois bill was watered down at the behest of the banking industry, making the adoption of the technology purely voluntary -- which it already was.

Bankers are opposed to the reverse-PIN system because of safety concerns. They worry that ATM users might hesitate or fumble while entering their PINs under duress, possibly increasing the chances of violence. The banking industry is in favor of finding a means to protect ATM customers, a member of the American Bankers Association said, but question whether the reverse-PIN solution is the right one.

The inventor of SafetyPIN, Joseph Zingher, claims the banking industry is afraid to admit the growing extent of the crime of ATM robbery.
Exact figures are hard to come by because ATM holdups are lumped in with other types of bank robbery in the FBI's annual crime statistics.
Of the 8,000 to 12,000 bank robberies per year counted by the FBI over the past 15 years, 3,000 to 4,000 (or just over one-third) were ATM robberies, according to the banking industry. Some crime experts suspect the figure is actually higher.

Bankers, for their part, insist they do acknowledge the problem of ATM crime and recommend that customers exercise due caution and be aware of their surroundings when using automated teller machines.

******

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.
"What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the officer.
"I'm going to a lecture."
"And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.

"My wife."

Fish oil 'helped children manage anger'

Children with severe behavioural problems were better able to control their angry outbursts during a six-month trial of fish oil supplements, it was revealed today.

Eaton Hall School in Norwich, UK, recorded a 68% reduction in the most extreme type of attack while pupils ate a healthy diet and took eye q fish oil supplements.

The school provides specialist education for boys with severe behavioural, social and emotional difficulties. The trial was carried out on 28 pupils aged 10-16.

During the six months before the trial began, the pupils were involved in 112 incidents of outbursts that required physical management to prevent a child harming themselves or others.

This dropped to 36 during the trial. Three pupils who exhibited the biggest change in behaviour were involved in few or no incidents at all.

Lisa Christensen, Norfolk County Council's director of children's services, said: "This is the first time that a study of this size just on children with behavioural, emotional and social difficulties has been carried out.

"It was a unique opportunity because there was already detailed information about individual pupils' behaviour from before the changes in their diet and the introduction of the supplements."

Lianne Quantrill, the project co-ordinator at the school, said: "These statistics suggest that as a result of the new health programme and supplements, the children were able to control their anger better, so while outbursts still occurred, they were less extreme, requiring minimal physical intervention from a teacher."

Headteacher Valerie Moore said: "This was a worthwhile study. For some children it made a positive difference.

"Even if it had only helped one child, it would still have been worthwhile. Within the wide and varied behaviour modification methods we use at Eaton Hall, this was another strategy well worth exploring."

******

Three buddies die in a car and go to heaven for an orientation. They are all asked, "When you are in your coffin and friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, ‘LOOK, HE'S MOVING!!!!!'"

6 Sleep Tips

by Chris Brogan

I’m home with my six month old son today. My wife has my daughter, so I’m in charge of this ball of energy and non-communication. He’s having a tough time sleeping, which means I’m having a tough time working. I just tried laying down with him to take a nap with him, to see if that made a difference.
And out of this, came some visualization and relaxation tips:
Take six deep breaths- After you get comfy, take six really deep, slow, breaths. If you can, breathe in from the nose, and out through the mouth. Nice, slow, easy.
Feel your aches- Without moving, take a quick inventory of the aches and pains you feel, especially around the face, the neck, your jaw, and your lower back.
Think of warmth- Imagine sending liquid warmth through those parts, such that the warmth pours over the aches, and washes them down out of your body, off the bed, and onto the floor.
Release your worrisome thoughts- Say to every bothersome thought that comes into your head, “I can’t fix you right now. I’ll get back to you later.” Everything that comes up isn’t meant to be solved right now. Your brain’s just trying to get rid of them. Even reminders. “I’ll remember you when I wake up.” Let them all go.
Assure yourself you’ll wake up on time- This is important for nappers, but also for people who have trouble waking up. Just give yourself a quick reminder of when you want to wake up. Think of the numbers on the clock.
Think of a hammock- You’re up off the ground, wrapped in a cocoon of comfort, swaying gently in the open air. The sun is warm on your face, and there’s a breeze blowing you back and forth. This visualization helps you “see” what sleep’s reward will be, getting you more in the mood to sleep.
Visualization has proven helpful in developing the appropriate brain wave patterns to achieve restful sleep. The more you practice these techniques and build them into a ritual, the better your opportunity for repeatable success. I’ve found that the speed at which I get to sleep after practicing these improves as I move forward, not that speed sleeping is a goal. It’s just nice to see the practice paying off.
–Chris Brogan is awake and dreaming of new ideas at [chrisbrogan.com] .

Before you go...

Rest Room Humour
"Beauty is only a light switch away"...Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.

"Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die."...Murphy's, Champaign, IL

"No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap"..Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Flagstaff, Arizona.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. From Revolution Books, New York, New York

Fighting for peace is like scr*wing for virginity. from the -The Irish Times, Washington, DC

2007-01-15T19:33:00.000+01:00

Did Mark Twain have the internet?

In an 1898 short story called "From the London Times" written in 1904, he describes an invention called the "telelectroscope," a gadget hooked up to the phone system: "The improved 'limitless-distance' telephone was presently introduced, and the daily doings of the globe made visible to everybody, and audibly discussable too, by witnesses separated by any number of leagues."

The story itself is about the unjust conviction of an American army officer for the murder of Szczepanik, the inventor of the telelectroscope.

On death row, the officer is allowed to use the invention.

The narrator, who appears to be Mark Twain himself, is a friend who spends time with the doomed officer as he surfs around the world:

"...day by day, and night by night, he called up one corner of the globe after another, and looked upon its life, and studied its strange sights, and spoke with its people, and realized that by grace of this marvellous instrument he was almost as free as the birds of the air, although a prisoner under locks and bars.

2006-11-01T23:04:00.000+01:00

Tommy Shaughnessy

Tommy Shaughnessy enters the confessional box and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the woman you were with?"

"Sure and I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Patricia Kelly?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Liz Shannon?"

"I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."

"Was it Cathy Morgan?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration.

"You're a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. Be off with you now."

Tommy walks back to his pew.

His friend Sean slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Five good leads," says Tommy.

2006-11-01T22:12:00.000+01:00

So there's this Pirate with a parrot.
And this parrot swears like a sailor, he can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.

Trouble is, the pirate who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!"
But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.

Then he gets mad and says, "OK for you." and locks the bird in a cabinet.
This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran pirate blush.

At that point, he is so mad that he throws the it into the freezer.
For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes.
Then it suddenly gets very, very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt.

After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm, smiles a parrot smile, flutters his eye lids and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."

"By the way, what did the chicken do?"

2006-11-01T21:46:00.000+01:00

Mediterranean Living...http://www.med-liv.com
Feedback on the news
from Daily Mirror Comment
Mirror.co.uk

I REFUSE TO WASTE MY TIME ON GREEN MYTH

Sue Carroll

THIS week a man knocked on my door and asked me if I might like to discuss my "motivation towards recycling".

I was, frankly, rather surprised. I didn't know I was supposed to have any "motivation towards recycling".

I could have lied and told him I run my car on panda blood and dine only in restaurants that serve endangered species. But on the basis that life's too short to irritate super-annuated council waste disposal officers I explained that I didn't feel the urge to discuss my pivotal role in saving the planet today, or any other.

I suppose I'm now marked down as a subversive and soon, I predict, the refuse Gestapo will be round to inspect my bins. I hope every householder in my street politely told the berk with a clipboard where to stuff his rubbish survey. But I doubt it.

There's an orthodoxy about the "green issue" which means anyone daring to question it becomes a pariah. In the same way that, until recent spectacular U-turns, anyone who stepped out of line to condemn the government's multicultural policy was branded a racist.

Green is the new religion and we're all meant to be cowed by the propaganda preached by evangelical MPs who've taken to howling the message like zealots at a prayer meeting. Speaking after apocalyptic reports of impending doom were released in the Stern Review of global warming, the PM told us sagely that the consequences for the planet are "literally disastrous".

Well, don't you worry about scaring the children, Mr Blair. Meanwhile the Environment Secretary, half-man, half-android David Miliband, has rushed in to announce he'll save us all from a disaster greater than two World Wars by taxing us to kingdom come.

Just a minute, sunshine. The British public can be extraordinarily gullible but we know when the green wool is being pulled over our eyes. While we're asked to pay an "eco tax" on electricity, petrol, energy-inefficient electrical appliances and holiday flights, the Chinese plan to open more than 500 coal-fired power stations.

In other words even if we sat in the dark for two years, every power saving made would be wiped out by China's growth. Surely Miliband realised that once global warming became top of the political agenda the genie would be out of the bottle?

Britain uses just two per cent of the world's energy. More to the point, if carbon emissions mean global suicide why is this government hell bent on another terminal at Heathrow Airport?

Shouldn't we be told, since we're being encouraged to fuel our cars with melted chip fat, what plans are afoot to trade in the fleet of ministerial gas-guzzling Jags and Range Rovers in favour of electric ones?

And where will the windfall from all this green tax go - on armies of recycling motivation specialists? The unpleasant whiff of "do as I say, not do as I do" has just become more pungent.

Happily, out of all this ideology comes some sanity from scientists prepared to stick their heads over the parapet and tell us carbon emissions may have little to do with climate change.

Perish the thought, but perhaps it's time we stopped swallowing the melting ice-cap theories and put it all down to natural cycles as Orlando Whistle-croft, who chronicled country life in the 19th century, did.

I leave you with observations from his book, The Climate of England, in which he wrote how the "fabulous weather" of 1846 saw kitchen gardens continuing to grow through the winter. "Overcoats were superfluous, fires quite disagreeable and walking in the moonlight was preferable to sitting in the chimney corner."

In March, Whistlecroft noted that young people in his village were gathering cowslips. A drought set in till November "which made us feel we had two long summers in one year".

No blame attached then to people driving 4X4s or flying off on easyJet to Majorca. Something to remember before you start bottling the chip fat.

2006-11-01T21:33:00.000+01:00

Mediterranean Living...http://www.med-liv.com
Feedback on the news
from Daily Mail Comment

Blair must face his day of reckoning

1st November 2006

Fearful and flustered, the Prime Minister goes on the offensive as the Conservatives call for a public inquiry into his gross mishandling of Iraq.

Accusing them of nothing short of treachery to our servicemen, he asks through his spokesman: 'When troops are serving overseas, in whose interests is it to make such an announcement?'

Well, we all know who would stand to lose most from public scrutiny of the Government's conduct - and we don't mean British troops, struggling bravely to do the impossible job with which Mr Blair has saddled them.

No. There is nothing remotely unpatriotic about David Cameron's demand for a thorough investigation into every aspect of the war.

True, he and his party backed the invasion - an honourable position at the time, although one with which this paper profoundly disagreed. But there is no inconsistency about voting for the war then and insisting on an inquiry now, when the Government's handling of it has been so disastrous.

Indeed, it is a sign of political maturity that Mr Cameron is seeking to loosen the Tories' attachment to a foreign policy virtually dictated by the White House.

The truth is that the case for a truly independent inquiry is unanswerable.

It must look into the abuse of the democratic process, which saw parliament and people deceived by a 'sexed-up' dossier put together by a spin-doctor.

It must examine how and why the Government fell totally under the spell of Washington. It must investigate what appears to have been a complete lack of planning for equipping our troops or reconstructing Iraq.

Above all, it must find ways to ensure that a catastrophe like this misbegotten war can never happen again.

Last night the Commons rejected the call for an immediate inquiry. But now even Defence Secretary Des Browne is forced to admit there must be one 'when the time is right'.

Mr Blair's day of public reckoning is coming.

Freedom to differ

This newspaper has long campaigned for an end to the secrecy that shrouds our family courts, whose decisions to remove children from their parents so often cause anguish and despair.

We therefore applaud Lord Justice Wall's call for wider Press access to the courts, so that the public can see how these heartbreaking cases are decided.

But it is profoundly disturbing that this senior Appeal Court judge goes on to suggest the authorities should have the right to pick and choose which newspapers should be admitted.

In his speech to a conference on family law, Lord Justice Wall cites his disapproval of the Mail's reporting of a case in which an Essex couple had their children removed by social workers and put up for adoption after a secret hearing.

As the court heard, the parents were 'entirely decent and respectable people', who loved their baby son and four-year-old daughter, keeping them well-fed and well-dressed. The children were removed only because their mother was considered too slow to care for them properly.

We thought then - and we still do - that the court's decision was cruelly wrong. Even the Government agrees our coverage highlighted concerns over how such rulings are reached.

Are newspapers to be blackballed for bringing such injustices to public notice?

Lord Justice Wall appears to have difficulty understanding the concept of Press freedom. Let us explain. It means the freedom to draw public attention to the truth as we see it - whether judges happen to agree with us or not.

2006-11-01T10:13:00.000+01:00

Mediterranean Living News Update
http://www.med-liv.com

Colombian drugs boss arrested in Spain

· Sabogal 'played part' in many murders by gang
· Cartel accounts for up to half of world's cocaine

Giles Tremlett in Madrid and Sybilla Brodzinsky in Bogota
Wednesday November 1, 2006
The Guardian

One of the world's most wanted and violent drugs traffickers, the Colombian Orlando Sabogal Zuluaga, has been arrested in Spain as police around the world try to break up a cartel that accounts for up to half of the global cocaine market.

Sabogal was picked up in the Madrid commuter town of Majadahonda on Thursday as part of a global crackdown on the violent Norte del Valle cartel and its offshoots, which are thought to be responsible for some 1,000 murders.

"Investigators believe that, as a Norte del Valle lieutenant, he has taken part in many of the murders carried out by this organisation," the Spanish police said yesterday.

US authorities claim the cartel has exported more than 500 tonnes of cocaine to the United States since 1990.

"Norte del Valle regularly uses violence and brutality to further its goals, including the murder of rivals, individuals who failed to pay for cocaine and associates who were believed to be working as informants," the US state department said.

Sabogal was one of a group of four Colombians who took over the reins of the country's biggest drug-trafficking outfit after the arrest and deportation to the United States of drug baron Luis Hernando Gómez Bustamante in 2004.

Sabogal, known also as "Alberto" or "The Monkey", and fellow trafficker Johnny Cano Correa had since become leaders of their own sections of the cartel.

"After Gómez Bustamante's arrest, Johnny Cano Correa and Orlando Sabogal Zuluaga rose in the cartel to become leaders of their own drug-trafficking organisations," a US treasury spokesman said.

Cano was arrested and deported to the US in September.

The US state department had offered a $5m reward for information leading to Sabogal's arrest, but refused to say yesterday whether anyone had been given the money.

"Orlando Sabogal Zuluaga ... is responsible for arranging the logistics of hundreds of thousands of kilograms of cocaine to the United States and Europe," the state department said when it offered the reward.

Sabogal, who was carrying false identity papers, was arrested at a shopping centre in Majadahonda, 15 miles north-west of Madrid.

Spanish police said they had been asked by their US counterparts to track down Sabogal after they were tipped off that he was in Spain.

US embassy sources in Madrid confirmed yesterday that the arrest had been made on the request of New York public prosecutors.

On the day of his arrest the US treasury department announced that it had frozen Sabogal's assets and those of several family members.

Sabogal and Cano were indicted on drug-trafficking and money-laundering charges by a New York court in July 2003.

The Norte del Valle cartel, based in the Cauca valley and the south-west of the country, has become Colombia's most notorious group.

Colonel Cesar Pinzón, deputy director of Colombia's judicial police, said Sabogal "was the last of the strategic line of leadership of the [Norte del Valle] organisation that had yet to be captured".

"He could be deported to Colombia where he will be processed and then we would begin the process of extraditing him to the United States. But Spain also has an [extradition] agreement with the US," he said.

A Norte del Valle leader called Diego León Montoya remains on the FBI's 10 most wanted list, alongside Osama bin Laden.

The FBI rates the cartel as "the most powerful and violent" trafficking group in Colombia.

2006-10-31T23:47:00.000+01:00

Mediterranean Living Bizarre
http://www.med-liv.com

Bizarre Coincidences

A distraught architect threw himself in front of a train in the London Underground in a suicide attempt.
Luckily, the train stopped inches from his body; in fact, it had to be jacked off its tracks to allow his removal.
When questioned, however, the driver informed officials he hadn't stopped the train.
An investigation revealed that one of the passengers, unaware of the suicide attempt, had independently pulled the emergency brake.
London Transport officials considered prosecuting the passenger for illegal use of the emergency brake but ultimately decided against it.

George D. Bryson, a businessman from Connecticut, decided to change his travel plans and stop in Louisville, Kentucky, a place he'd never visited before.
He went to a local hotel and made preparations to check into Room 307.
Before he could do so, a hotel employee handed him a letter addressed to his exact name.
It turned out the previous occupant of Room 307 was another George D. Bryson.

One three separate occasions - in the years 1664, 1785, and 1860 - there was a shipwreck in which only one person survived the accident.
Each time that one person was named Hugh Williams.

In 1983, a woman told British Rail authorities about a disturbing vision she had of a fatal train crash involving an engine with the numbers 47 216.
Two years later, a train had a fatal accident, similar to the one the woman had described.
The engine number, however, was 47 299.
Later, someone noticed that the number had previously been changed by nervous British Rail officials.
The original number: 47 216.

Several secret code words were devised by Allied military commanders during their preparations to invade Normandy in World War II.
Among them: "Utah," "Neptune," "Mulberry," "Omaha," and "Overlord."
Before the invasion could begin, however, all of these words appeared in a crossword puzzle in the London Daily Telegraph.
After interrogating the puzzle's author, an English school teacher, authorities became convinced that it was sheer, inexplicable coincidence.

2006-10-31T23:34:00.000+01:00

Mediterranean Living News Update
http://www.med-liv.com

Livingstone backs terrorist's Tube job

Last updated at 16:18pm on 31st October 2006

Together: Mohammed Mostafa and father Abu Hamza at a Trafalgar Square rally. Mostafa worked on the Tube

Ken Livingstone today defended the right of Abu Hamza's son to work for a Tube contractor - despite his conviction for terrorism in Yemen.

Mohammed Kamel Mostafa, 25, from Wembley, was given a security pass and had access to restricted areas - including tunnels under Parliament - during his time as a labourer at nights and weekends on the Underground.

But the Mayor said he doubted the veracity of any conviction from Yemen and said Mostafa had passed Tube security checks.

He said it was wrong to restrict his ability to work simply because he was the son of Abu Hamza. Mr Livingstone said: "Has he broken any laws here in Britain? The answer is no. We are happy to have him working for us.

"No one can be blamed for what their parents do. All we ask is that they respect the law of the land and do not hurt anyone."

His extraordinary intervention came after Tube chiefs were accused of an appalling blunder after allowing Mostafa to work in restricted areas.

He was employed by a sub-contractor working for Tube Lines, the private sector consortia which looks after the Jubilee, Northern and Piccadilly lines.

The Jubilee line serves Westminster, the most politically sensitive station on the Underground and where security is supposed to be at its highest level.

Working as a labourer on the Jubilee line would have given Mostafa - jailed in Yemen in 1999 for plotting to kill Western tourists - access to the labyrinth of tunnels at Westminster and where the Tube runs virtually under Parliament.

Mostafa and his father were central figures at the Finsbury Park mosque when it was taken over by hardliners. Hamza, 48, is serving seven years for inciting murder and preaching racial hatred during sermons there.

Labour MP Andrew Dismore said today of Mostafa: "It beggars belief. It wasn't like he was nicked for shoplifting. It was terror offences in Yemen. You would think the Underground would be particularly sensitive to terrorism."

Questions are being asked over the Tube's security checks, which were supposed to have been increased following the 7/7 atrocities. Brian Cooke, chairman of the passenger watchdog TravelWatch, said: "It is surprising that LU does not appear to have greater control over the reference checks of people employed by contractors."

Mostafa was only stopped from working on the Tube when colleagues recognised him and informed bosses, who withdrew his pass. LU chiefs tried to play down Mostafa's employment, saying he was allowed to work because "he has no criminal convictions in the UK".

LU pointed out that he was not Tube staff but was employed by a "minor" sub-contractor. An LU spokesman said it was up to the contractor - which he refused to name - and not LU to make criminal checks.

The spokesman added: "The question of whether the checks were tight enough is a matter for the Government to address. We don't do criminal checks on every single individual who comes on to London Underground."

It was claimed that Mostafa had worked only for "a few weekends" on the network. Asked if LU checked the contractors to ensure they were carrying out the specified vetting procedures, the spokesman added: "There is an assumption that criminal checks are made." He said there were "spot checks" - but not as a regular and ongoing process.

The security blunder by the company was described as "appalling" by the father of one of the victims of the 7/7 bombings, in which 52 commuters were murdered. John Taylor, who lost his daughter Carrie, 24, in the attacks, said he was "shocked and stunned".

The security manager from Billericay said: "This man is a convicted terrorist and he has been allowed access to some of the most sensitive areas of the Tube."

Mostafa had previously attempted to forge a career in rap, with lyrics describing waging holy war and dying for Allah.

2006-10-31T23:19:00.000+01:00

Mediterranean Living News Update
http://www.med-liv.com

Fish oil 'helped children manage anger'

31st October 2006

Children with severe behavioural problems were better able to control their angry outbursts during a six-month trial of fish oil supplements, it was revealed today.

Eaton Hall School in Norwich recorded a 68% reduction in the most extreme type of attack while pupils ate a healthy diet and took eye q fish oil supplements.

The school provides specialist education for boys with severe behavioural, social and emotional difficulties. The trial was carried out on 28 pupils aged 10-16.

During the six months before the trial began, the pupils were involved in 112 incidents of outbursts that required physical management to prevent a child harming themselves or others.

This dropped to 36 during the trial. Three pupils who exhibited the biggest change in behaviour were involved in few or no incidents at all.

Lisa Christensen, Norfolk County Council's director of children's services, said: "This is the first time that a study of this size just on children with behavioural, emotional and social difficulties has been carried out.

"It was a unique opportunity because there was already detailed information about individual pupils' behaviour from before the changes in their diet and the introduction of the supplements."

Lianne Quantrill, the project co-ordinator at the school, said: "These statistics suggest that as a result of the new health programme and supplements, the children were able to control their anger better, so while outbursts still occurred, they were less extreme, requiring minimal physical intervention from a teacher."

Headteacher Valerie Moore said: "This was a worthwhile study. For some children it made a positive difference.

"Even if it had only helped one child, it would still have been worthwhile. Within the wide and varied behaviour modification methods we use at Eaton Hall, this was another strategy well worth exploring."

2006-10-31T21:42:00.000+01:00

Mediterranean Living News Update
http://www.med-liv.com

Spain to hit "Costa del Crime" with UK hotline

31/10/2006

MADRID (Reuters) - British and Spanish police, struggling to track down expatriate fugitives and break into a web of foreign traffickers and fraudsters, have asked charity Crimestoppers to set up a tip-off hotline on the Costa del Sol.

Both countries hope Crimestoppers Costas, launched on Tuesday, will become an key intelligence source from the 350,000 expatriates living around the southern city of Malaga -- a group difficult to tap because of the language barrier.

For years British criminals have used the Spanish Costas as the perfect place to disappear among English-speaking expatriates and tourists, but British police are increasingly concerned it is being used by drug traffickers as a base for British operations.

A series of adverts in local papers and on the Crimestoppers website: www.crimestoppers-uk.org/wanted/spainwanted/ aims to hunt down criminals wanted in Britain for a range of crimes including fraud, trafficking, kidnap and murder.

Tip-offs passed to the charity in Britain help solve an average 17 crimes a day and one murder a week, and its head of operations Dave Cording said that until-now weak links between Spanish police and expatriates meant the pilot scheme could make an immediate impact.

"There is good information out there to be had and it’s just a question of coordinating the whole thing to bring these people back into the British crime justice system," he told Reuters.

Crimestoppers’ anonymous freephone number -- 900 555 111 -- will route calls directly to its London call centre and information will then be passed to Spanish police.

Ronnie Knight, jailed for one of Britain’s biggest-ever cash robberies hid on the Costa del Sol as did Kenneth Noye, who helped melt down millions of pounds of stolen gold from the Brinks Mat robbery and was jailed years later for stabbing to death a fellow motorist in a road-rage attack near London.

2006-10-31T21:40:00.000+01:00

Spain curbs Romanian, Bulgarian workers

October 31 2006

Spain on Tuesday joined Britain in saying that it would restrict access to its labour market for Romanian and Bulgarian workers. Miguel Ángel Moratinos, Spanish foreign minister, said the country would limit access to its market for two years when the two countries join the European Union in January, as it did with other new entrants in 2004.

Spain has one of the highest immigration levels in Europe and is a favourite destination for Romanian workers, whose language is similar. An estimated 400,000 Romanians and 160,000 Bulgarians already live in Spain, about half of them illegally.

Romania and Bulgaria have protested against the UK’s decision to limit immigration of their workers, disputing the notion that their EU membership would prompt a huge influx of workers to other European countries. They have threatened reciprocal restrictions.

Emilia Maslarova, Bulgarian labour minister, said she was “disappointed” by Britain’s decision to limit immigration from Romania and Bulgaria after adopting an open door policy with other EU entrants.

Ms Maslarova insisted the outflow of Bulgarian migrant workers would be small, citing an opinion poll carried out in August by Gallup International that showed only 46,000 Bulgarians of working age were seriously considering working abroad. Spain and Germany were the top destinations, while the UK ranked sixth, with only about 3,100 to 3,400 intending to go there.

It is debatable how much impact restrictions would have, since any EU citizen with a valid passport is free to go and live in another EU country for up to three months, and self-employed citizens are often not covered by job restrictions.

Representatives of Romanian and Bulgarian workers in Spain argue that restrictions will simply force the thousands of existing workers in the country to continue working off the books.

Gelu Vlasin, spokesman for the federation of Romanian associations in Spain, told Spanish daily El Pais this week: “Fears of an avalanche of immigrants is baseless. What is true is that Romanians work here...and they want to do so legally and to pay taxes.”

Spaniards have become increasingly concerned by the tide of immigrants, despite the fact unemployment between July and September hit its lowest point in 27 years. In a survey published last week, 60 per cent said immigration was their main worry, up from 28 per cent in May last year.

Mr Moratinos gave no indication of the kind of restrictions Spain intended to impose, but Maria Teresa Fernández de la Vega, Spain’s deputy prime minister, said last week any curbs would be less tough than those promised by the UK, which aims to place strict visa requirements on skilled workers.

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